All About Altars
A ritual technology and a way to contain and focus the energy of our beloved dead.
Ancestral altars, or shrines, are a ritual technology. A way to contain and focus the energy of our beloved dead. A place of direct communion with your ancestors, akin to setting up a phone line to the Other Side™️.
Your body is your ancestral altar until you place one in your home. This may sound sweet, but in reality it’s impossible to have any distance. It can obstruct our view. This can be a source of ghostly interference—think anxiety, insomnia, depression, and addiction.
When you give your ancestors a dedicated space you begin to be able dialogue with them and create some distance. It's saying: “Hey, this is your space. This (my body) is my space. See how there's a difference?”
Creating an altar for your ancestors doesn’t have to be a big deal. You don’t have to behave differently. You don’t have to change your social media bio (“I talk to dead people”.) You don’t even have to tell anyone about it. I would encourage you to make it as simple as possible. The goal is to have an altar set up. Nothing expensive or time consuming is required. Remove all the barriers to entry.
This is a collaborative process with your people. They will have opinions. You will have opinions. Remember that all ancestral opinions are always up for negotiation! There will be endless opportunities to practice sacred negotiation. The altar is also a manifestation of the relationships you are tending, it is going to be dynamic. The needs will change. This isn’t a set it and forget it moment.
Altars are also a very potent place to continue to hone your intuitive perception. If you’re still having some doubts about how do you actually know when they are talking to you vs you are making it up (hint: you’re not making it up) the process of setting up an altar and tracking the impact of the choices is an immensely helpful and tangible experience. If they don’t want something on the altar, they will make it known. Clients have reported instances of photos falling off of tables, candles never staying lit, water spilling, stones/crystals cracking, and plants dying. If your people really want something on the altar, they will also let you know: you won’t be able to stop thinking about shortbread cookies, you’ll keep seeing a vision of particular type of pattern or even a color, or in your dreams they will come to you and place a stone in your hand. I had a vision of a very specific statue, for a few months it came in and out of my awareness. One day I walked into a shop and there it was. I was so stunned, I left it there, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I went back the next day and there it was, now on sale.
Building and maintaining an altar is all about direct relationship with you and your people. It’s important to make the distinction that your altar is a space for you to commune with your well and bright ancestors. These ones who have already gone through their own ancsetralization process. This isn’t an open invitation to anyone dead in your family, remember: not all of the dead are equally well. We’re not trying to create a ghost hotel. (Chances are our bodies already are…)
How do you build it?
Genuine intent is more important than anything fancy.
It can be anything. It can be a shelf on a wall, a shelf in a bookcase, a whole bookcase, a coffee table, a windowsill, in a cabinet, in a drawer of your dresser, on top of a dresser, small side table, the mantle of a fireplace. It could be on the floor in a corner of the room as long as it wouldn’t be disturbed by pets or tiny humans. (Unless of course you want to involve the kiddos/little ancestors, in which case, the floor or a short table is perfect.)
I moved around a lot one summer and didn't always have a surface that it could be on. So for awhile, I just used a FedEx box that I put my altar cloth over. This did the job perfectly.
You may also want to explore what an altar that doesn’t look like an altar per se. This might be an option if you live with roommates or even if certain family members may balk at a more traditional altar set up. This could be a painting or some other type of fabric or wood art, a flower arrangement, a collage, the possibilities are endless.
Where do you put it?
This could be practical or it could be intuitive. Your ancestors may have an opinion maybe they want to watch the sunrise, so in a room with an east-facing window. Or perhaps in the heart of the home, whether that be the kitchen or maybe a living room. Maybe in your office, or the area in your home you work in. If you live with roommates, it may or may not be aligned to have the altar in a shared space. You could place it outside, though I would not recommend placing it in a public place outside, more like a backyard.
What about the bedroom? If you choose to place your altar in your bedroom, you want to be able to cover it/close it up to be able to further contain the energy while you are sleeping. A cabinet (like under your nightstand) or a drawer works well here. You can also simply cover it with a cloth/piece of fabric each night before you go to bed. I had my altar in my room for years, and really loved the practice of covering it each night, and opening it each morning.
What to put on your altar?
One of the first things folks tend to think to put on the altar is photos. There are a lot of things to consider before placing a photo on your altar.
Pictures of the living. There's not many things that you shouldn't do in regards to altars. However, I would highly recommend considering not putting photos of living folks on your ancestral altar. Yourself included. It’s often a picture of a birth, wedding, graduation, or holiday when there are multiple generations present. This is a beautiful, sacred picture to have. You can have it displayed elsewhere in your home. Just not on the space dedicated to dead people.
Pictures of the dead. Again, the altar is a place to commune with your well and bright ancestors. Often times, if one hasn’t already engaged in ancestral lineage healing, the recent ones—these ones we have photos of—are often not yet in a fully vibrant place. If they are, you will want to check in with them and see how they would feel about having a particular photo of themselves on the altar. Yes, I'm suggesting that you check in with your great grandmother about that photo of her before you actually place it on your altar and wait for an echo back. How many times have you seen a photo of yourself that you just didn't like: maybe the haircut was weird, it wasn’t a great angle, your body was a different size, etc. For whatever reason, you just don't feel represented by that photo. The same goes for dead folks. Another thing that feels worth noting is that as a person goes through the ancestralization process and becomes a well seated ancestor, they begin to identify less and less with form. With their human meatsuit. Perhaps you check in and say: “Hey, great grandmother, I'd love to honor you specifically on my altar. Can I put this photo of you?” And the echo back “Thank you, young one, for wanting to honor me. I would feel more represented by an amethyst crystal. This is more how I am in spirit.”
The ones we have photos of are simply a drop in the ocean of the lineage. The ocean is actually a very useful metaphor for thinking about a lineage: when you go to the beach on a sunny, clear day, you can see 10, 15, 20 miles out to sea. You can think of this as the ancestors we knew personally while they were alive, and all of the ones we have names and dates of, possibly even photos of. Then there is the rest of the ocean. When we talk about ancestors, we are talking about all of the humans, all the way back in time. Most of them were before remembered names. And certainly before photography. The idea is to have your altar be a representation of entire lineages, 1000s of generations, in that way, photos of individual ancestors on the altar can be a little bit limiting.
Beyond photos, a good place to start is the elements: water, a candle, incense, maybe flowers, a plant, or a stone or crystal. It can be nice, though it is not necessary, to have a cloth/piece of fabric, or even a piece of paper as the base. This can further help to delineate the boarders/boundaries of the altar, and it usually looks nice.
You could also consider putting photos of the lands your people are from or plants/animals/other beings that are important to them. Totems or talisman of important symbols or affinity powers — some salt to represent the ocean, a rosary, a statue of a lion. You might also wish to keep divination objects or tools on the altar: tarot or oracle cards, coins, pendulums, and the like.
When it comes to heirlooms, or even objects that ancestors created (paintings, jewelry, carvings) again wanting to ensure that the ancestor who created it, or from whom you inherited it, is well and vibrant. There is a step in the ancestral lineage healing process during which we invite layer of care and attention to these objects so that they reflect the healed and vibrant energy of the lineage. This process is also extended to the bones/ash/physical remains of the ancestors. It’s possible you may want to place the urn that contains the ashes of an ancestor, or other remains for that matter, on your altar— again with the consideration that that one is well and vibrant, and the remains have been ritually tended to to reflect that.
How to interact with your altar
Offering practice is one of the most common ways folks utilize the altar. You can offer the first bite of your meals to a plate on your altar. You can bake or make something specific and set it on the altar. I set out fresh water each morning for my people. Sometimes I’ll offer coffee, sometimes they will request wine or another type of alcohol. When it’s time to replace the water or offering, I will offer it back to a houseplant, or pour it back onto the land outside in the backyard. I do this with fresh flowers that turn less than fresh as well— I place them under a tree in the backyard.
The ancestors are fed and nourished (however densely or subtly you wish to perceive) by these offerings. During the ancestral lineage healing process, as a lot of work is being done, it can be a time of lots of offerings to help integrate, support, and sustain the healing work that is taking place. If you are asking the ancestors for something: from help with a new job, to extending the lineage by having a child, it’s right relation to make offerings when making the request.
It’s really important to not eat or drink offerings that have been on your altar, and also not just throwing them in the garbage. You don’t want to ingest these items because they have been offered to the dead. It’s also a way to honor the sanctity of these offerings and to include our relationship with the Earth. Offering any food/drink/plant offering to the Earth (or houseplants) or compost is appropriate.
Back to if your altar is in your bedroom… You’ll know right away if this practice is for you or not. It can be an offering practice to offer your pleasure/erotic/sexual/orgasmic energy to your people. This can be offered as healing energy for those among the dead who experienced persecution for expressions of gender or sexuality that weren’t considered acceptable by their family or society while they were incarnate. This can also be offered as healing energy for incest or other types sexual boundary violations. Or! You can simply cover your altar during more intimate times. The tenderness or charge of this could be a reason to not have your altar in your bedroom, or in the space in your home where you engage in pleasure practices.
You can also light a candle or some incense and simply spend time with your people. Maybe in prayer or signing or dancing. Or even just sitting or laying down and resting together. The ancestors love when we rest, and when we rest with them.
How to maintain your altar
This is a sacred space. There is sacred in the mundane. You’ll want to dust, wipe up any incense or ash, any leaves or bits that accumulate. It can be nice to occasionally cleanse the space energetically with smoke medicine, or herbal spray. If you have crystals, charging them in the moonlight or bathing them when needed, same as if they were on another shelf.
It’s also a good practice to keep checking in. What do you want on the altar? What do they want on the altar? Can it be more simple? Is it supposed to be more ornate or extravagant?
Cohort 2 is now open! We begin on Tuesday April 16th and meet though June 25th.
Ignite your Intuition: An Initiation into the Mysteries of Mediumship
Cohort 2 will feature 9 group calls, and 9 1:1 calls. (3 group calls a month, 3 1:1 calls a month.) Group calls will be Tuesdays 1-2:30pm ET. 1:1 calls are 75 mins each, and can be scheduled at your convenience.
April, May, and June are bursting with so many beings to spend time with, and as the evenings get longer and lighter, you’re encouraged to take the calls while outside, communing directly with the flowers, rainstorms, mushrooms, and salamanders.
I’ll be hosting two (free) (recorded!) info sessions in March. Would love for you to join me to get a taste of what it’s like to be in the space and to ask any questions you might have.
Ignite Your Intuition: Intro to Ancestral Lineage Healing (free)
Thursday March 21st 7-8:30pm ET
A discussion of ancestral engagement including:
- Who are the ancestors?
-Benefits and risks of focusing on blood ancestors
-Cross-cultural assumptions about ancestor reverence and ritual
-Five stages of the lineage repair work and overall intent of Ancestral Lineage Healing
-Guided practice
-Time for questions
-Call will be recorded if you’re unable to attend live
Ignite Your Intuition: Intro to Other Than Human Kin (free)
Thursday March 28 3-4:30pm ET
A discussion and introduction to our other than human kin: plants, animals, and landscapes including:
-Animism as the larger framework for mediumship
- Who are the others?
-Benefits and risks of being in relationship
-Guided practice
-Time for questions
-Call will be recorded if you’re unable to attend live